A Poem By Gretchen Crowder - Jesuits.org
This original poem is part of the Pilgrim Stories initiative and a project of the Ignatian Year.
Tell me, Lord, in clear words I can not miss:
What is my magis? What is that one thing that will use it all, each and every gift?
I feel deep inside that this thing, it exists.
It MUST exist or I wouldn’t be feeling so drawn towards … something.
What is it, Lord? Where is it, Lord?
Where can I be most myself?
Where can I offer the light that is only mine to offer?
Where can I let go of the mantle of false humility, of frustration,
of desolation that is blinding me from the person you so lovingly created me to be?
Where can I put on instead the mantle of inspiration,
of hope, of joy, of good and meaningful work?
I am stuck, Lord, in the agonizing in-between.
I am waiting for directions. So please direct me.
I know You have a habit of speaking in whispers,
but please, this time, speak loudly, speak boldly,
so I can hear Your voice above all the constant din inside and outside of me.
I am, for the first time, open and ready.
I am ready to be the light you have always wanted me to be.
I believe, for the first time, that I can do it… if You only show me what it is.
So help me, direct me, lead me forward to my greater, to my magis.
Show me what it is and then, prepare my heart so I can go ALL IN.
Magis is a Latin word that means "more" or "greater". It is related to ad majorem Dei gloriam, a Latin phrase meaning "for the greater glory of God", the motto of the Society of Jesus. Magis refers to the philosophy of doing more for Christ, and therefore doing more for others. It is an expression of an aspiration and inspiration. It relates to forming the ideal society centered on Jesus Christ.
Gretchen Crowder has served as a campus minister and Ignatian educator for the Jesuit Dallas community for the last fifteen years. She has a B.S. in mathematics and a M.Ed. from the University of Notre Dame as well as an M.T.S. from the University of Dallas. She is also a freelance writer and speaker. You can find her writing at gretchencrowder.com and @gdcrowder on all social media platforms. She resides in Dallas, TX with her husband, three boys, and an ever-growing number of pets.