Twenty-four things dying people wished they had done differently.
A few years ago, I was doing some consulting work at a large hospital. The hospital was implementing the Dream Manager program for the nurses. The program helps people identify why they do what they do, what is important to them, and what their dreams are for the
future. It has been incredibly successful in hundreds of companies, because sadly, most people have never been asked, "What are your dreams?" and most people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they spend planning their lives.
During the project I spent quite a bit of time with a group of hospice nurses (Nurses whose taking care of dying patients). I remember wondering over and over again to myself, "How do they do it?
One day at lunch, I was sitting with five or six of them, and I asked them, "When people are dying, what do they talk about?" They told me that people who are dying very often talk to the nurses about how they wish they had lived their lives differently.
Here is a sampling of what those nurses shared with me, twenty-four things dying people wished they had done differently:
. I wish I had the courage to just be myself.
. I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
. I wish I had made spirituality more of a priority.
. I wish I hadn't spent so much time working.
. I wish I had discovered my purpose earlier.
. I wish I had learned to express my feelings more.
. I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying about things that never happened.
. I wish I had taken more risks.
. I wish I had cared less about what other people thought.
. I wish I had realized earlier that happiness is a choice.
. I wish I had loved more.
. I wish I had taken better care of myself.
. I wish I had been a better spouse.
. I wish I had paid less attention to other people's expectations.
. I wish I had quit my job and found something I really enjoyed doing.
. I wish I had stayed in touch with old friends.
. I wish I had spoken my mind more.
. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time chasing the wrong things
. I wish I had more children.
. I wish I had touched more lives.
. I wish I had thought about life's big questions earlier.
. I wish I had traveled more.
. I wish I had lived more in the moment.
. I wish I had pursued more of my dreams.
These are the regrets of dying people, people who were out of time. Each of them contains a powerful lesson for those of us who are still living.
When I was in middle school I sang in the school choir. One of our duties was singing at funerals, and we sang at a lot of funerals. I remember thinking a lot about life and death as we sat there in church for all those funerals. Even at that age it struck me that life really is fleeting.
It is good and healthy to think about death from time to time. It puts things in perspective and reminds us what really matters. The perspective that death is inevitable reminds us to get busy living.
Matthew Kelly
From the book "Resisting Happiness".
Frank Sinatra "My Way" - Music Video 1971
"Regrets, I've had a few But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do ,
I saw it through without exemption..."